Maybe romantic love isn't the fore front of your life right now, but love exists in so many forms.- Olivia Dean

I have always been a lover girl, I love to see people in love, watch their gestures for their partners but I was tired of being a spectator. Yes, “was” because now I'm comfortable being a spectator.

I loved someone for the first time when I was 15.
He was all I could think about but I was scared, I never agreed to dating him when he asked me out so it just became a situationship.

I was scared because I didn't want my heart broken and of course no one at home would understand if I said I had a boyfriend. Maybe my sister would, but my mum wouldn't. She said it was a normal distraction and I should forget about it.

But how could I?

How could you forget someone your heart summersaults for?
The one who your body feels like jelly anytime he holds your hands. It's really hard.
So I didn't give in, and I didn't let go at the same time.

Call me selfish but I held on to him. Even when he graduated from school and asked me out again, I didn't agree to be his girlfriend because "it won't work"
I was always there, even when he told me he liked someone else I was still available.

Now I think of it, I was the villain because he kept loving me and I did too but I didn't give my all.

After a heart felt talk one day with my homeboy with him scolding of being to uptight with my feelings, I agreed to give in whenever he dropped a hint of wanting to be my boyfriend.

Somehow, I didn't know it wasn't love anymore, it was just a gesture to repay all of the time he spent being with me.

I gave in, but now he was scared. Maybe he was surprised or didn't think of me being genuine,I don't know. He wanted us to wait till I got into uni. I didn't, I thought it was a relationship already.

Calls multiple times a day, texts, videos reassurance and banter.
That was all  love was right, we did that.

I was so happy

Then he bared out his heart.
He didn't feel it anymore.
Infact we weren't in a relationship.
I could say I was disappointed but my heart didn't break into pieces as I would expect, it just shifted and adjusted like 3 years of back and forth didn't just end.
And so, we too just driftefd apart. No hard feelings just I'm happy for you from the other side.

We still keep steaks on snap, ending and starting all over everytime like a caricature of our situationship.
Our tiktok steak ended and we never tried to restore it, a clear evidence that we were done.

I still mourned us last week, the fact that we could have been the best at the beginning but couldn't. The fact that when we were finally on the same page, our hearts said no.

Different people have tried to come into my life after this, I have crushed on so many people after you and even during our back and forth but I can't seem to keep up and give in.

I have stopped looking for love.

Maybe love isn't for me, or
Maybe love isn't the fore front of my life right now, it exists in so many forms.

It exists in the way IJ makes me eat her dad's fried rice and the way I am invited for all their family gatherings because I am now her sister and not her best friend.

It exists in the way Ife is so free with me like we were born in the same house hold, our laughter and silly jokes raising the roof.

It exists the way Fred will not text me everyday but make time for him everytime I need to talk. The way he says "oshey baby" is his love.

It exists the way Olu K's eyes will light up whenever she sees me, and how she laughs when her tickle her little stomach.

It exists the way my sister will smile and ask if I have a boyfriend because she wants me to gist her about what's going on in my life.

It exists the way mommi never understands privacy. Always coming in to my room and how no one would ever understand our banter because she is my soul mate.

I no longer look for love,

I smile every time Fred shouts; "Olayinka when will you have babe?"

Because I know my love will come at the right time.

Maybe not now but someday.

In verses 29 and 30, Peter lost focus and looked at the wind instead of Jesus which led to him sinking .That was on emphasized during the homily. 

It sounded so familiar.

Taking my eye away from the cross.

Losing God during times of trouble,

Being too sad or tired to pray to God,

Thinking prayer wouldn't fix anything, it all sounded so familiar to me.

“Look to Jesus" was the title of the reflection in the bulletin.
The analogy of footballers who are taught never to take their eyes off the ball while playing was used. It read; "the moment you take your eyes off the ball, you are bound to make a mistake.”

That was the case of Peter and what happens with most of us, well me.

The storm wasn't what made him sink.  In fact he could overcome the storm, he was already walking on the troubled water.

Scriptures remind us in 1 Peter 1:6-7  that we would face different trials to test the genuiness of our faith so the storm was just a trial.

What makes trials bearable is keeping our eyes on Jesus. The One who makes it easy.

This was what Peter failed to do. Peter was already in a problem, the storm. He only needed to have faith and walk through it looking at Jesus but he got distracted by the wind and fear overtook him.

Peter's story made me remember a particular tiktok post about people leaving their partners who love them unconditionally when they have problems.

Why leave someone who can help you come out of your problem, why push them away and make them feel unwanted??

This is what we do to Jesus too.

That's what happens too when we decide to abandon Jesus who can fix our problems.

This isn't even about keeping your eyes on Jesus when we only have problems,it is about keeping our eyes on him everytime.

Through every joy, happiness, disappointment, and problems he should be our focus. He makes it much more (good things) or easy to go through (problems) and over come at the end.

The priest that gave the homily made us sing a song

"Prayer is the key
  Prayer is the key 

Prayer is the master key
 Jesus started with prayer, and ended with prayer
 Prayer is the master key!"

Jesus, who is our role model and Savior prayed always. When there was abundance, and even when he was at the point of death. I hope this speaks to you (and I) reading this to pray at all times because that is our hope and what keeps us going.

When we fail to keep our eyes on Jesus and are sinking, I pray we remember to cry out like Peter
'lord save me"

He will reach out to help us, he always will.

It was to be posted yesterday but I was so busy. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you for reading 🤗

In English they say "I love you."
In Yoruba we say "mo nífẹ̀ẹ́ rẹ"
It literally translates to "I have your love."


Àyànfẹ́
You say "mo nífẹ̀ẹ́ rẹ" because not only do you love me, 
You believe I love you back.
You feel...
That somewhere in the depths of my heart, it is love of you that dwells there in.

It is your confidence for me, Àyànfẹ́
You do not just claim to love me, you swear I feel the same way.
You dare to impose your assumption on me.
No, you're not a dictator, Àyànfẹ́ I know.

The sweet but gentle conviction of your confession,
It does something to me.
Your words make me look at you, not that tiny glimpse 
But a deep gaze to see your heart.
Maybe I will see through what makes you believe I love you.

How sure are you, Àyànfẹ́?
Pe o ní ífè mí , wípe emi na ni fè rè?
Se o da o loju?

You do not stutter, Àyànfẹ́
You say again staring into my soul, "mo nífẹ̀ẹ́ rẹ"
You really believe you have my love, that I will give it to you?

Yes, I will, Àyànfẹ́
I will give you my love because you are filled with certainty.
Filled with confidence that gives safety,
Wrapped with love enough for both of us



You do not stutter, Àyànfẹ́
So I choose you.


                     Olivia_the_poet
                     4th of August 2026

Mo nífẹ̀ẹ́ rẹ-I love you

Àyànfẹ́ - The one I chose to love

Pe o ni fe mi, wipe emi na ni fe re- That you love me and that I love you too

Se o da o loju? - are you sure/certain?

I'm not good with the Yoruba intonation symbols, pardon me if you're a Yoruba scholar 😔

Listen to Similemi here and read the poem again.

The lyrics don't necessarily match but it makes reading better.

I got the inspiration for this poem while watching this Tiktok post

Thank you for reading 🤗

I am back at the doorstep 
Waiting, wanting,yearning 
For the sound of love's foot step 
Never wanting to quench this burning 

My heart aches from fullness -
Fullness of love I want to give



                   Olivia_the_poet✨
                    May 2026

I've been searching for ways to complete this poem but I guess it's not meant to feel complete, so I'll leave it hanging.

Thank you for reading 🤗

• Men putting their hands in their trousers to pose for a picture. Are you caressing your penis???

I hope you understand what I mean cause all of a sudden I can't get a picture of it 😭

• Saying words like toto, gbim, preek, opueh, blockus like wtf is blockus 😭

• Wearing slides like they're undersized. Pushing your legs forward and they literally out of the slides 😭 You're a big boy/girl shey you know 😒Come lemme teach you how to wear slides
  2k per foot

• Aggressive people
  I know Nigeria doesn't give us enough reason to be happy as per things aren't working in this country but aunty ahah…
  No be only you body dey pepper abeg, me sef get my own problem

Rude people
Omg they piss me off so bad
I'm not trying to be your friend oga, if I greet you with a smile, answer politely. Don't talk to me like I'm beneath you or I'm not worthy of your presence.

• People who don't mind their business
  Jesus Christ!
  I'm someone who talks quite a lot when I'm comfortable but something I don't do is cross my boundary. If I don't think I'm close to you, I will avoid asking certain questions or talking about some things. I respect people that much but if you don't do same for me, Clearrrrrrr

This is all I can think of for now.
I may do a part two or three or even four 🌚 anytime I remember

Pity my sticker collection, I just dey learn 😔😭

Byee beautiful people 😝

This morning I was listening to Simi’s Simisola album and “original baby” came on. Funny enough, I have never listened to that song before even though I claim to be the biggest Simi fan. That aside, the song got to the part where she said or sang rather,
“But I’ll never be somebody else.
Original baby”

In the song, she explains the type of person she is and how she will never change it for anyone. She wants to be always original. She is also speaking to us to be original when she sings
“Wherever you go just be yourself,
you can never be somebody else”

This speaks to me in so many ways because everyone is easily influenced these days especially with social media.

People are either copying someone or doing things just because someone else did it. Nobody is original no more. ( Me too to an extent 😔)

Let’s take the craze for iPhone 5 as an example😭
I watched a clip of Tyla’s interview on Monday talking about how she likes the camera quality of the iPhone 5 and that’s why she uses it to take pictures.
That same day, I saw a video of a babe unboxing an iPhone 5. I was surprised cause I didn’t even link it to Tyla until I opened the comment section. She bought it just cause Tyla talked about it.
Since then I’ve been seeing videos of people with the iPhone 5
These are the same people who went crazy when iPhone 17 came out just because of the camera quality. Now just because a celebrity talked about it, another phone is suddenly desirable and fits their status to have.

There was another video I watched this morning, a lady bought it and she was disappointed. She didn’t like it at all. The comment section was filled with people criticizing and laughing at her for not having a mind of her own.
They are not wrong to an extent because how can a statement make a large number of people go into a frenzy about a phone a celebrity likes. Does nobody know what works for them anymore?

I don’t even have any advice for anybody abeg, if you’re changing your mind on something just because someone said so, na you sabi

All of a sudden iPhone 5 is aesthetically pleasing burst my brain 😭

Anyways listen to original baby by Simi today, maybe you’ll be original by tomorrow

Xoxo Yemeeka 🎀

Basically he meant some people have it worse. I know that wouldn't make anyone feel better that if you're facing something, you'd just be told that you're better than someone and then you're happy again.

No, it won't, infact it seems like you're invalidating their pain.

I think what he meant was that we complain and worry too much about what we don't have.

It's human nature to want things so when we don’t have them we complain, compare and it almost becomes our personality. Some of us can afford our basic needs, I mean basic things that we use to live but we always complain that is not enough (I mean I complain too and I want the world if I could have it)

How about we take that time to show gratitude for what we have at hand.

There's a meme I came across recently " be content with what you have… wetin I have"

It's funny when you think about it really but do we really have nothing to be grateful for?

Nothing to look at and say we have something for ourselves?

Yes, we do have things to be grateful for.Being alive alone is a blessing and a reason to be optimistic.

It is okay to crave for things, to aim for things to want things but what isn't okay is to complain all day long.

As if the homily wasn't enough, last night while doom scrolling on Instagram, I saw a video of a girl, a sickle cell survivor who had been in the wheelchair for some years and is battling another illness. She has to go through a surgery to be better. She needs 50 million Naira to pay for it. The video was her coming online to beg for support. She was crying, and I did too. I can't imagine a life of constant pain and it's so heartbreaking to see someone suffering and you can't help.I reposted so the video can get more visibility because that was my only way to help .

      MARRY WHO YOU'RE COMPATIBLE WITH
                PLEASE! 
DON'T BRING CHILDREN TO THE WORLD TO SUFFER

But that wasn't where it ended for me, that video also made me think of how we underestimate life's ordinary moments.

Some of us walk freely without aid, it doesn't seem like a blessing until you can't cannot do it anymore.

Think about whenever you're sick and then you start remembering all the times you were healthy. You didn't understand how important good health was until then.

Yes that is it.

Please stop complaining all the time and search for joy in little things, be optimistic about life and maybe, just maybe life itself would be kind to us.

              Xoxo Yemeeka 🎀

Hey you

Yes you!
I know it’s hard, trying to love every inch of yourself.
Trying to adore every part you want to conceal and hide from the world.
Trying to dim a light that was made and it is meant to shine.
Giving in into all these societal beauty standards and trying to keep up with it
It is exhausting, I know
Come here for a hug 🫂
You are wonderfully made!

Sometimes you look into the mirror and like what you see but the moment you step out of your home you’re comparing yourself with her again.
You want her hips, you want her eyelashes, you want her boobs, her hair.
You want everything she has.
But she has doubts too you know?
There are parts of herself she had to make herself to love, she made a constant effort.
She made a decision to adore every part of herself.
So that’s why you see her carry herself with grace.
I know you admire her, that is fine but don’t strive to be her.
You are you!
You are wonderfully made!

Yes, I heard you want to change yourself for someone.
Stop that now!
Don’t you know you can never please a human being?
Or you forgot you don’t have to change if you don’t want to.
He wants you to have a BBL, Nne if he wants a boob job tomorrow, wants you to be light skinned next year will you continue changing yourself for another person’s happiness
You’ll allow him to project your insecurities?
Don’t allow that
You are wonderfully made!

Hey you again
You will have to love yourself because everything will change beauty standards, trends, even whoever you love and you’re doing things for.
In the end, it’s only you for yourself
When you look into the mirror, you’re the only one staring back at yourself.
You are the only one that can love yourself the most.
You are the one that will make yourself feel good
You will have to love yourself!

Heyy beautiful people 😝
I think this is my first attempt at writing like this.
I hope you like it and it makes you love yourself more.
Your are wonderfully made!

Xoxo Yemeeka🎀

It's been a while since I wrote to you. I would have said I have the “writer's block” but I'd be lying because I'm just lazy. Yes,I am.

Yesterday evening I tried writing about my woes of being a busty girl in this wicked world and how it has affected me but guess what?

Like I always do, I tried to gaslight myself to think it wasn't that bad and I invalidated my feelings.

This was after I sent a voice note ranting about it to one of my friends when she responded to a video of Chinasa Anukam talking about it on a podcast which I posted on my status.

I was happy that we’re now talking about topics like this.

That's not the reason I'm writing to you.(Probably I'll talk about my woes someday without invalidating my feelings)

I want to talk about my birthday!!!

I became an adult on the 28th of May.

Whoosh… an adult 😭 already ?

Anyways, what happened on my birthday???

My day started off so beautiful, I counted down to my birthday with so much excitement.

When the clock struck 12, oh please lies I checked the time on my phone😂.

I said a word of prayer thanking God for bringing me this far and then I posted my picture on my status.

Before I knew it, messages started pouring in 🥹

My best friend sent the most heart felt message ever and she made a substack post all about me 😭❤️

I love my IJ 😙

Everybody else sent me heartfelt messages too, even people I didn't expect wrote their hearts out to me, it was so freaking beautiful 😭❤️

Oh I forgot, my mum isn't the one to count down till 12. Even her own birthday, she'll wake up anytime she likes😂

But my attention seeking self woke her up and she hugged me sleepy eyed and prayed for me.

I spent my morning reading my birthday messages and replying to them all.

My day had just begun because my friends came over in the afternoon.

It was such a joy to see all of us together like that after graduation( 6 people were there and 5 were my classmates in school)

My Ife baked a cake for me🥹

The silly girl kept apologizing that it wasn't big and it wasn’t on a cake board.

Girl! I don't care

You baked a cake for me and that was all that mattered.

All of my friends gave me my gifts; jewelry, perfume, snacks, they are the sweetest I know.

One thing I love my friends about is how our relationship is ,we didn't have an order of events, we just kept talking. We didn't even pay attention to the movie we were watching. Just banter and laughter

Ouuu rhymes 😂

We made a lot of tiktok videos too and took pictures.

I was the happiest🥹

Yeah we ate o

Small chops first and then Jollof rice and chicken later🫠

When they were leaving, we joined a video for our friend who was advertising tickets for a play in his university.

I had a great day ❤️

I could relive the day everyday if I could.

That's the end of my tori o

It felt good writing about this cause I've been stalling it for a while.

If you ask me how 18 has been, I honestly don't have anything to say. I really don't feel different. Just living as usual.

Some likkle thoughts of mine

• Sometimes I think I write badly, except when I write poems

• My mind has too many tabs open. I'm sure you can see that from how I write, right?

• If I should start I podcast, I would talk about a million things in one episode 😂😭

• Everywhere is boring

I listened to Freudian, Daniel Caesar’s album while writing this.

You should listen to it.

I would have added pictures but my network is bad.

Mtcheeew stupid Airtel

Thank you for reading 🤗

Bye beautiful people 😝

Olivia_the_poet

July,2026

Listening to their cheer

Reading out rubbish manifestos

Knowing he stepped in their toes

He know they will still bow

That was their vow

They get angry at his back

They think their thoughts are wack

But what can they do; he promised to rub their backs

Fools they are

Helpless, they assume

Suffer for a while

Throw back his file

And wait for the best

That is the best.

Olivia_the_poet

December 2022

Mommi is my favorite person, she was my first best friend, my gist mate, my advisor, my therapist, my shoulder to lean on. I could decide to go on and on.

I remember trying to write about my love for her so many times, I have so many drafts because I didn't know what perspective to write on about her but I'll let it just flow.

My mother's name is Mofoluke

She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met, both on the inside and on the outside. She radiates so much love I fear there is no form of hate in her. And no I'm not saying this just because she is my mother, mommi always seems to see the good in everybody (except most Nigerian politicians abeg)

Mofoluke is a great teacher, yeah she is a professional but I'm talking about teaching her children. Mommi always uses everything to teach a lesson. A movie is a lesson, a documentary, she makes sure to make a conversation about it to hear about my own point of view. I remember her coming home with books many times as a child, most of them she had read before and then we used to discuss it. I remember she bought " Potter's wheel" by Chukuemeka Ike for me when I was eight years old. She had read it in secondary school and told me many stories about it. Then I read it and we would laugh about the funny things in the book and she'll never forget the parts that were lessons. Mommi really influenced my love for reading.

Mommi has never failed to teach me about God. I am constantly reminded that her life is a testimony and we (my sister too) are a part of that testimony. She didn't just force her faith and trust in God on me, rather she explained whenever I asked questions, the ones she couldn't answer she always encouraged me to ask a priest or a reverend sister and also pick up my Bible to see for myself. She is part of the reasons I would never lose my faith even though I have numerous questions unanswered. I look at her and I see a woman who learnt to lean on God to stay strong throughout all her tough times.

Mofoluke has many dreams, some she may have fulfilled, others I know she will fulfill in years to come because no age is too big to do great things. Part of those dreams was to teach her babies to never think their dreams are too big for this world. I am still a work in progress 😂, but my sister is a fulfilment of all the dreams mommi has, a nurse educator, a masters holder, and an ongoing PHD with a whole family of hers. Talk about a super mummy with super children 🤭

Now if I sit down to list all the sacrifices my mommi to make sure her children have a life better than we can imagine, I may never stop talking. We have never been rich in terms of material things but I don't lack clothes, shoes, shelter, proper health care and education!!!

To mommi ,education will take you anywhere, no matter how messed up this country is.

She would overbuy books so I don't ever claim I lack knowledge, she would be in debt to pay my fees but she would never take care of herself in expense of my well being. Sometimes I think her simplicity( though she is actually very simple) is not just out of choice, it has come from years of discipline, taking care of her children by herself 🫂

Mommi I see you,

I hear you,

all our years of you telling me absolutely everything going on with us without burdening me emotionally hasn't gone to waste.

You are the most kind hearted person ever and thank you for pouring into me even when it felt like you didn't have enough for yourself,

thank you for staying strong even when you needed someone to lean on,

thank you for having faith when I thought nothing could ever work,

thank you for always being positive even when things never made sense,

maybe that's why I don't know when I started loving you, it wasn't just a moment, it wasn't just because you broke to the world, it is the many things you did to show how motherhood could be easy and fun as well.

This piece didn't show even half of what I hoped to say, but it showed mommi to the world with how much I love her too.

Omo olofa mojo

Asake, abisu joruko

I love you with the whole of my soul 🥹❤️

Happiest birthday mommi ❤️

Subscribe

Subscribe to me today to make my mommi and I happy 🔪🥹❤️

A young flower once bloomed

So radiant in the sun, she was a sunflower 

Lived in love, oblivious of danger that loomed

Believed in girl power, her dreams as high as the Notre- Dame tower


Determination; her root, kicking through all storms 

Hopeful and flexible in life, she is open to all reforms

All, but one that would make her blood spill

One that even time takes time to heal


Freeze…

….the present has recently put her in a standstill

Hold your horses because you would lose your steeze

This is no joke!

Freeze…


Ripped more than her clothes was her heart

Deep inside, she wished she would depart

From this place in which she was broken into more than one piece 

Anything could have been taken, but her peace?!


Her tranquility can't be restored in a week 

Her situation could even make Goliath weak 

Her girl power she must now seek

Her voice must be raised, she won't be meek


A young flower almost died 

But so determined, she was revived 

Now she will always be on guard 

But will they stop another young flower’s stride?


November/December 2024

Olivia_the_poet

It's one of those days again...

Oh no I'm not sad, I'm just there.
I randomly remembered that my daddy isn't on this planet with me and I hugged the picture of both of us on my dressing table so tight.

Maybe I thought I would feel his warmth spill down 

Maybe I would for once remember what his voice sounds like 

Maybe the blurred memory from Nursery one will eventually be clear 

Well, that didn't happen exactly but I felt better.

I'm just a girl whose brain has so many open tabs

I watched Chinasa Anukam's ITST ; Ayra Starr's episode this evening and one thing that stuck with me was Ayra's belief in herself. She is sabi girl fr. In between watching it, I had to go to Spotify many times to play her songs and Ayra is really that girl!
She said she exists in multitudes and that's how we all are really. There's no one thing about one person.

I can be Olayinka but in different forms and that's okay!

It's very crazy that I've been thinking on what to write for some days. I almost wrote about my birthday (which was the best day ever) but the words weren't just there really. I guess that's how it is when  no words can explain how you feel.
So I just write it as it comes.
No more  overthinking about what to write, or do,or even about what I'm not doing.

Right now I'm on a video call with one of my baby girls
We have calls like that to update each other on our lives because life has taken us apart. We live in the same city but we can't even see each other often.
Everytime, the network cuts us short making us call about 5 times before we finish gisting.

I love my life, my friends ,and everyone I talk to on substack

Byeeeee
Thank you for reading this weird girl's post 🤗

Drum rolls 🥁🥁🥁
My birthday is in two daysssss🥳
I can’t believe I’m going to be 18, like what???
Little me of yesterday, her mummy’s handbag, everyone’s last born will soon be an adult 😭

I’ve thought about what to write about for a couple of days but I don’t even have a clue so I’ll just write my thoughts as it flows.
I’m so grateful for how far I have come, the people that surround me and support my every decision.
I may not be exactly where I thought I’d be but it’s all good.

I remember my birthday last year 😂
It was on the day of my English WAEC exam. Very crazy day 😭
Unlike any other exam, I wasn’t even tensed or nervous because English is not a problem for me. I got to school so happy after taking some pictures at home with my mum. She had bought my gift and I was to receive it in the evening. In school, I received so many gifts (🥹 I miss secondary school). Hand written letters, poems, biscuits, perfume, lipgloss, names them. I love all my friends.
This was way before the exam was supposed to start. We were ready for the exam already until we didn’t see the external invigilator, minutes turned hours. I’m not lying when I tell you we wrote the oral English paper by 2pm I think, mind you that was supposed to be the last paper but it became the first. We got to hear that the questions were leaked and so the exam body wanted to change the questions. We were so pissed and angry because that meant we had to stay in school for much longer.

Angry for long?
noooo
We utilized the time like crazy, you may think we read more 🥲
Nope, we played! Yes we played😔
So because it was exam period, most of us brought our phones to school (SS 3 doings) we captured moments, ran around. I can’t even lie it was one of the most memorable days of my life. They even made a video that I’m not the birthday girl trend for me🥹. Also my brother -in-law brought snacks and drinks for me cause I called that I was hungry. He also brought the the gift my mum bought, very nice brackets cause it was delivered to their house.( He and my sister)
Finally when it was around 7 or 8pm(sorry for the subtle memory loss😶), the examiner came back with the objective and theory. If you thought the drama ended there, it just began, there was no electricity, so the school had to put on the generator. Also the cloud decided to shed tears people of God. Yes it rained, heavily. Imagine trying to lie about what didn’t happen to you in one yeye essay and then you’re surrounded by the noise of a generator and heavy rain. That was our case. At that point we were all tired. We all wanted to finish and get out. I left school in my friend’s dad’s car with my mum, my friend and some of our other classmates.
What a day right!

That day marked the beginning of many things for me. I wrote the most important examinations in my life, graduated from secondary school, got into what the real world was about.

17 really shaped me, it gave me a bit of clarity of who I am and how I handle things. I can deny that I grew significantly in the past year.
It made me define my friendships and stay close to those I knew were home and stay away from those I didn’t align with, I learned to let go a lot.
I learnt and I’m still learning to be myself, to find myself and most importantly not lose myself.
It hasn’t all come together for me, I still doubt myself most of the time. I still think I’m not worthy or deserving of somethings but na me na, I’m always cheering myself after every little set back. I push myself cause I am in control of who I want to be.

18 seems big, it feels like when it would all work out for me, all the things I missed, didn’t get, couldn’t achieve- this is the year for it!

Omgg my pictures just came in🥳
The pictures are so niceee
I can’t even wait to reveal my face on Thursday (I hope some of you care to see me🌚)

Omg it’s 9:21 already. I did some other things in between writing this .
Shout to for always counting down to my birthday with me🥹. I love youuu💕
Byee beautiful people 🫶

Thanks for reading 🤗

I remember the good times-

You and I, laughing over nothing

It was everything.

Is that really how time flies?

Space created a void

Memories began to fill.

Sneaking up on me

In places that are silent .

This silence is really loud.

Noisy and deafening.

I'd rather listen to your silly ranting;

It would heal me right now.

But I won't reach out, I am proud

Olivia_the_poet

Something in me paused

I was shouting “blood of Jesus” repeatedly until the tears started flowing. When I say I cried, I really did.

You may wonder why I would be crying for a total stranger that way. Honestly, I don't know too.

Maybe it was because I had watched his movies and have a liking towards him

Maybe it was the suddeness of it all.

Maybe it was because I realized I hadn't seen him in the spotlight for quite sometime

Or was it because it was cancer?

As I cried, I kept thinking about different things, how could death be so final, how can it put an end to things just like that.

I checked his Instagram page and saw that he had over 4 million followers, those people were now just following someone who's name will always have a “late” henceforth 😭

On Google, he is already said to be dead already, mind you it happened just today.

So that's how death really is? So final. A total full stop.

I saw a note yesterday of a lady here on substack saying that her mom had died an left an 11 day old baby.

I was shattered, I couldn't even like the note because I didn't have the right words to comment with or how to comfort her and I knew guilt will kill me if I didn't type anything to comfort her. Now I get have a little understanding of how she feels , I dare not say I understand the weight of her pain cause i’m not the one feeling it. I hope to find her note or come across her post again with some words of comfort.

His death made me realize the life is really all vanity and fickle but you should enjoy your life, do things you love and be happy because when you die, you die. Nothing can change that. People that love you and will only be left with memories of you, memories that can fade or become blurry over time, not because they want it to but that's just how life is.

To all who have died, may their souls rest in peace 🕊️

For the loved ones of those who have died, may God continue to comfort you and ease your grief. 🫂❤️

hands and

legs

Covered with rich sanyan

She is shyly elated

Her cheeks burn with pleasure

Her teeth are outside; shining

They are snow

She is filled with joy

Her waist sways easy to west to the melodious beats of the bata and gangan

“Ókó!”

“Ìyàwó é rè”

November 2022

Olivia_the_poet

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Thank you for reading 🤗

Hey beautiful people 😝

I think I'll start all my articles with this intro henceforth 😂

Lately, I have just been existing, not too happy not sad just just living.

Last week we had a family photoshoot initiated by my brother-in-law.It was just my grandma, mum, sister and her husband, my niece and I. We all got to dress up nicely with make up too. Yass🤭. That made me really happy.

There was also a generational picture; my grandma, mum, sister and my beloved niece 🥹

I can't lie I was emotional when they took the picture because it was more like seeing your blessings and your support system together.

Well that was a moment until Sisi (baby) started crying 😂

That child is a character, she shows us something new everyday, at this stage she doesn't allow anyone apart from her mum and dad to carry her for long. She would rather smile and giggle at you from their arms. I'm so happy she is here cause we waited in faith for her.

And yes I can't wait for the pictures to be ready!

Talking about existing, some people have been adding me on snap recently and oh God! Why do you just say 'hi' without telling me your name or anything and then proceed to ask how I am😒

Wetin consine you, I no sabi you o.

Trust me I'm not a hateful person or should I say no be say I no get joy 🤧but I just don't believe in adding people and then expect a full blown conversation from them. Maybe one day you reply to their story and then a conversation can start from there. You know what I mean right??

You may be wondering what I do when I get those messages 🥲

I say hello and then ghost the person 😔

if you don't tell me why you're texting me, byeeee.

Substack, tiktok, Snapchat and some books I've decided that reading half way is the best decision to make 😭 are those things that have been keeping me going apart from my grandma calling me at least 20 times in one day.😪

I'm so happy my post utme classes will start soon and I will be busy again. Life is just there lifing.

Before I shut up, I really like the trending sound of Mikel Obi(I think he is the one) saying "DEZAIYAH" 😂

Bro was saying something serious and y'all made it a sound, chai😭 😂

Please listen to Sinmilemi by Dotti the Deity and give me reviews, I'm sorry if you don't understand Yoruba but I'm sure you'll be able to guess what the song is about. Give me reviews!!!

And before you ask me why I'm telling you listen to a love song when I know you're single , yes I know 😌

Allow somebody to love you!

This piece of advice is for me too sha😔 Though I still have time compared to you, I'm a baby 😝

Byeee beautiful people, see you when I want to yap again 😙

I feel inspired to drop all the poems I wrote about Nigeria tonight.(Kindly check my previous post)I really have forgotten what it feels like to experience how to write and I think this would boost any inspiration lurking around.

The poem I'm about to type was written on the 20th of October 2023 when I was watching the news about what happened on the same day in 2020. The Lekki Toll Gate Shooting. Then, my creativity was at its peak.

I was happy I was able to write is because it is my tribute to all those who lost their lives an to us who even though didn't die are killed everyday through this government as a whole.

THE HEROES

‘Arise o compatriots

Nigeria’s call obey

To serve our father land

With love and strength and faith

The labour of our heroes past…’

On this day was wiped with blood

Blood of the future

The just who fought against injustice

But injustice is now justice

These emotions filtered into frustration

Kissed anger

And birthed the protest

A scene no literary term could explain

No emotion could contain,

But-

history would retain

The day we were wiped with blood

Blood which screams innocence

Breathes peace and fights our war

It makes is boil to see them forgotten

Like soup which was left on fire and got burnt

This shall never be in vain

Because they are THE HEROES

Not like those claiming to rule

But we are not fools

To dance to their tunes

We have now come to take our own destiny in our hands!

#20/10/20

Olivia_the_poet